I miss the days when controversies were nailed to church doors, and I wasn’t even alive back then. Such debates were public, but the filter of localization ensured that only the most critical issues would go worldwide—such as Luther’s reformation. While I would have disagreed with the aged Luther on the most recent hot topic, at least I wouldn’t have been expected to issue a consolation statement of said disagreement.
Speaking of which, that’s not what I’m writing now. I’m offering constructive criticism to those who have been trying to reason with self-proclaimed “noticers” for the past—let’s see, month? Two months? Year? I’ve lost track. In any case, this quarrel has barely evolved. One camp says that “the Jews” are society’s primary threat, and the other says that such talk is unbecoming for followers of Christ. This exchange then gets put back into the word processor and started all over again.
Some see it as a blessing in disguise that this issue is taken over the Reformed community like a virus. They believe all this sneezing and coughing will flush out the antisemites, and that it’s high time we realized how contaminated we really are. The problem with this is that social media comments threads have been serving as home base, thus giving contentious spirits the very platform they want.
Of course, there are some folks who genuinely are “just asking questions,” probably because they’ve listened to the wrong crowd, and should be met with gentle counsel. But these should not be difficult to tell apart from those who claim they’re “just asking questions” as a license to place their cauldron of wormwood at the center of the church potluck. This kind of behavior can usually count on getting no small reaction, cranking up the heat under the cauldron to its suffocating max.
This is what I am warning against, not to those who speak first with foul intentions, but to those who speak second with fair intentions. When people claim to be “just asking questions,” those three words are the most important in the discourse, since they categorize whatever else was said. So before you react to the more inflammatory components, double-check whether the package description is truthful.
Those who are “just asking questions” are going to be humble, not proud. They are going to welcome counter-questions. They are going to be searching for answers, not supposing they have all the answers. They should also be asking specific questions, choosing their words carefully and communicating as precisely as they know how.
For example, suppose they are called out by a person they didn’t know was listening to their string of bizarre claims about “the Jews.” If they blush and say something to the effect of “hold on, let me do a clarify,” they are probably just trying to cover their posterior by playing innocent. “I don’t mean everyone of Jewish descent,” they might say. “I mean an elite movement of Jews who are attempting to exploit their bloodline. They’re the ones politicizing this.”
But that is not what “the Jews” means. They know it; you know it; everyone knows it. So, by their own admission, they have intentionally used misleading language that they know is bound to sow discord. They will likely follow this up by telling you that any misunderstanding is a “you problem.” They suppose that they are not responsible for the words they use to get a dopamine rush, but you are responsible to know that red means blue (or at least to ask them to do a clarify).
There’s a word commonly used to describe this behavior, and it comes from a 1944 film called “Gaslight.” In the story, a man uses diabolical schemes to convince his wife that she is insane. One of the practical details he uses to wear her down is the dimming of the lights. After amusing myself by remembering this origin of the word “gaslight,” I’m hesitant to make that comparison here; because the guy in the movie was actually good at it.
This is not complicated. People who refer to their accusations as questions are lying to your face, so why would you give the time of day to anything else that spouts from their mouths? There is nothing in the face value of their words that should be taken seriously, so don’t. Their sin should be taken seriously, but that’s their pastor’s job, not yours. Put concisely, don’t feed the attention whores.
It’s time for us to stop rolling around in the mud with people who will never be appeased. Even if sound believers are winning a debate, the peace and unity of the church is losing. Social media, that unwieldy novelty, has allowed this to get out of control. The way to get it back under control is to put it into the only hands that should have ever held it: local church accountability. Speaking of that, I should probably be done now. I’ve involved myself enough here.
Proverbs 9:8
Do not correct a scoffer, lest he hate you;
Rebuke a wise man, and he will love you.